Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I really don't like it when people comment about the quality in my friendships. I just don't like it, even as a passing comment or a joke. I don't like to define my friendships, most people don't, so it's the things I do that I feel shows how much of a friend that person means to me. I may sound crude at times (or all the time), but that could usually be how I treat a friend that I consider close. There's no one solution fix all in any type of friendship, so I'll prefer to do it my way, thank you very much.
And what's wrong with questioning reciprocity? I may not have really meant what I said, as I don't expect others to do things for me, unwillingly, reluctantly, or even willingly. I never have and never will do. But the thing is, if you define friendship based on the things you get for a person, it's a bit shallow isn't it? This may sound harsh, but I value friendship more on our actions. If I am a bad friend for not getting him something to celebrate the day of his birth, then isn't getting something for him just for the sake of it as bad? If I wanted to get something for him, I'd want to do it willingly. For some, they'd know my love for them is great enough that is surpasses any need to get them anything. I don't think anyone of us expects anything material in the first place, so what's the need? I know I sound hypocritical based on what I said today out of frustration and irritation, but I know where I came from and I will never change my stance on it.
Does it pay to be nice? What's the point of being a nice guy? It gets you nowhere. Even with this current obvious but undefined segregation, I don't really care. We can do what we like, when we like, how we like it, and no one else can tell you what you can and can not do. So what with all this? In another half a years time we'd all be out and everything now is never going to matter ever again. Sure I'll keep some friendships, but others I won't really mind losing.
So what if I'm an asshole? So what if I can't keep my mouth shut, or if I speak my mind when I want to? So what if I can't do groups and prefer more personal one-to-one conversations?
It doesn't pay to be nice. All this superficial-ness.
T -4 months.
Bye.
my thoughts at 6:27 pm