Ok! So today's the last day before the last month of the year arrives! Ok lame.. whatever. Hmm, this week? Just started... Went pretty fine today, but won't be really excited about the next three days. Still... I have to deal with it. So why complain? Haha...
My leg hurts... More specifically, my feet. 'Cos of soccer today. Fun soccer (:
Hockey is getting a little bit more interesting.
So true.
Bye~!
my thoughts at 8:28 pm
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Shit man. No, no, no... I can't believe I'm up to my old thinking self again. I don't know what's up with me. Do I have too much time on my hands now? I just don't wanna think, but every now and then, those unanswered questions pop up again. I only know, so far, that one person has those answers, but I don't wanna drag that person into this. I need to distract myself, but there's nothing left. No more PW, no more studies for the time being. Only training, but I'm trying not to think of that too, and in a week it'll be a distraction no more.
I knew, not too long ago, that some of these questions are best left unanswered. I've given up, already. But I'm still bothered time and time again by the gap that was left there... Maybe it's 'cos I have no more distractions for me? Or that my way of distracting myself isn't working anymore? I don't know. Now, it seems I need answers just for myself, not so those old answers I pursued for a period, but seemed to realise it was best not, answered.
Maybe I've been foolish again to be involved. But how can I control myself... I want to maintain relations without pursuing the impossible. Maybe this shouldn't even be here. It's not so much whether I'll get hurt, 'cos I can safely say it'll not, 'cos it's been a long time already. And time heals all wounds.. even small ones. I just have a feeling of "I just wanna know, that's all.. period".
I know these could be considered selfish thoughts. And I know this won't help matters, especially when everything's fine now. Maybe it's that every little thing that you do, I'm amazed by you. Was, and probably still is.. albeit in a good way.
Don't worry, I know what's right, already. And I know the boundaries, even if I feel restricted.
Bye.
my thoughts at 12:37 am
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Okay so today was the last day of J1. Well I purposely went late to eat breakfast with SY. Then I only saw like 11 of my classmates in school! And only like 7 of us attended the only (and last) lecture of the year, Physics; where they had a stupid, utterly useless lecture test. So yah, after that I went to PS with Celeste for lunch, she had to get her guitar fixed there, and I was going to LAN which was apparently quite near PS.
So after lunch I went off (and after a long walk), I found my way to Paradiz. And joined some of the hockey guys and girl for LAN. First time in a long while since I've stepped into a LAN Shop, and this time we played L4D2, which was kinda fun, although at first I had no clue what to do. Hmm after like almost 2 hours of that, we went to Astons for our lunch-cum-tea-break? Hmm... Walked around The Cathay before leaving the place. Hmm... This last day of school doesn't feel like one, didn't really end off with a bang, what a blunt way to end my first year.
EUROPA LEAGUE, here we come! Haha, I'm trying to be optimistic. But yah, Liverpool can win it if they try hard enough. And the long weekend ends with a derby against Everton. Hmm, both off-colour these days, but Liverpool will hopefully prevail. Haha... (:
As I sat there, I looked up, everything seemed fine, blind to any flaws; as I looked down, obstacles reminded me why I did what I had to do in the early part of this year.
Bye~!
my thoughts at 10:25 pm
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Ok so first off thanks to Mark Koh for hosting what could be (very likely) our very last SA147 PW meeting. So yeah thanks for the food too. We went there like around 2 after having lunch at PS after lectures in college. Then we like Guitar/Band Hero-ed till 7, with Mai joining us at around 3+. Haha really fun and cool... And yah with all the songs that somehow can fit my name inside. I hope we can have more of these next year, even if it's not GH, just hanging out and chilling is fun as well. Hmm... SA147 <3
Haha two more days till end of J1. How fast time flies when you're really having fun.
Bye~!
my thoughts at 9:35 pm
Monday, November 23, 2009
Eating a light lunch 4 hours before training + Lack of sleep = Almost died.
Please remind me to never have this formula again when I go for training, especially with the GK coach around.
I feel so much better now having eaten my dinner.
Bye.
my thoughts at 8:02 pm
Friday, November 20, 2009
Today on my way to training (yah I waited 20 minutes for taxi and thought I was going to be late) on the cab I finally found, I was trying to hold a conversation with the cab driver.. in Chinese. Well, let's just say I wasn't too good at it, trying to keep up and trying hard to translate whatever I wanted to say so cheemingly in English into some simple Chinese. It was quite an enjoyable experience talking to the cab driver in Chinese, but one thing's certain.. I really need to brush up on my conversational Chinese (not to say written or anything!), 'cos I really do suck at it.
Then at training, the weather was playing with us again, so we couldn't do fitness. In the end, everything was pitch, and today was quite tiring, although the weather after the rain was pretty nice. Can't wait for Monday's training, but thinking of how I'm gonna die on Monday, sure seems to contradict my feelings. Ugh!
I have nothing to do for the weekends now! I'm looking though! Haha...
Bye~!
my thoughts at 11:16 pm
Thursday, November 19, 2009
OMG. Ireland was definitely hard done by. What was the referee seeing? How could he not have spotted it? I kinda rather is very sympathetic towards the Irish, and Robbie Keane's sarcastic suggestion that UEFA and FIFA was glad that France go through, was kinda right in my opinion. But to be fair, France isn't as strong as it was before, like the pre-2002 era. They have only a couple of world-class players, whilst the rest are just decent at best. Their squad is also fairly aging, so who says they are one of the better teams? Or better than Ireland in that respect?
Well, the only argument is that... Could Ireland have gone through any oh how? But still... Even a penalty shootout was a better, albeit unfortunate, way to get knocked out.
Oh well, that's football, but this is definitely, one of the harder blows to deal with, even non-Irish fans.
Thierry Henry. WHAT A CHEAT, to even say it hit you too quickly. YOU HANDLED IT TWICE. It's like using your hand to keep the ball in the air!
There should be a replay! Even if France win again, at least they should win fairly.
Congratulation to North Korea, Algeria, Honduras, New Zealand, Slovenia and Greece for making the 2010 World Cup finals!
Bye.
my thoughts at 6:43 pm
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I feel kinda foolish, to be honest. I mean, I thought this would make me feel good, that I was showing I cared, but to be frank, it's all just for a couple of minutes of good feeling. I think it meant nothing, right? Sometimes, you can just see it, infer. I could be sensitive, but some things are just certain sometimes, most of the time. I don't want to be a periphery, but I never demanded to be the centre of attention either.
Just read my friend's post. He seemed kinda down. Well I don't think he deserved what apparently happened, but yah, things like these do happen sometimes. Admittedly, there has been the various 'success stories', but after reading his post, it just shows that it ain't worth the risk sometimes.
And with recent events, I think I shall kept the previously wanted to disclose inference I made to myself. 'Cos there are some things I simply do not want to happen right before me. I might just go berserk. So, silence.
Five For Fighting - Superman (Live)
Ever touching. Hehh... Inspiration, always.
How did it all go wrong?
Bye~!
my thoughts at 8:14 pm
Monday, November 16, 2009
Hmm... You know sometimes, it's better when you are neutral, quiet and stuff, 'cos you are the least suspected of, and like sometimes more trusted, and you are the good guy.. kinda thing. So you get to hear all the shits and gossip. It's not good for karma, but it certainly is helpful to know some of these to help you if needed in the immediate future. Haha...
Haiy, these two weeks is really, really damn useless and irritating. Like I mean, who will listen now attentively, no matter how much we are told that these are important? We are bound to switch off, these two weeks should have been for PW and everything pushed to now, and these two weeks of lecture just before promos. Screwed up planning, as usual.
Can't wait for Cage on Thursday afternoon (hopefully!), and possible mahjong on Saturday and Guitar Hero with SA147 on Saturday night! Haha... :D
Bye~!
my thoughts at 8:24 pm
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Donovan's birthday BBQ was awesome, again. Haha, we ate under a bit of rain for the initial part, lepaking at the playground and makaning the 'unlimited' amounts of food. Like what the wise one said, tomorrow confirm got constipation. Haha. So much meat, so little veggie! Haha, shiok, but got complications. Then we talked a lot of shit, laughed hell lot... And the usual subjects were...... Yeah. Then we went upstairs to watch some soccer, by then Singapore was losing 3-1 to Thailand, luckily I didn't went to watch at the beloved National Stadium. I wanna go next year again!
Oh man, Guitar Hero's expansion Band Hero looks awesome!! More pop-ish, less rock-ish than Guitar Hero or Rock Band. Many songs more recent and some of my favs are definitely Pictures of You by The Last Goodnight, Love Story and You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift, Lips Of An Angel by Hinder, Dirty Little Secret by All-American Rejects and, yeap, YMCA by Village People. Haha! Awesome right? Must get, but where to find the ca$h? They should make one like for Daughtry or Nickelback, like more recent rock! That'd be oh so super cool!
I can't believe there's lectures for the next two weeks! It's like so ugh! The latest, latest we end, and that's for only one day is 12pm. The rest's like majority 10.30 and 11. What's the point man, and we have to go school by 7.30 as usual. Can't we like only go to school on the time we have lectures? There are a couple of days that like have 1 hours breaks before I have my lectures. So yah, some other JCs are already holidaying!! Mans, and there's hockey trainings. Hmm... It's forever tough in JC. Some pointers for those peepz that have just finished their 'O's! Go enjoy the three months ahead of you, if you are thinking of JC, 'cos once you are in, you can never find a way to come out temporarily to catch your breath.
:)
Bye~!
my thoughts at 12:40 am
Friday, November 13, 2009
So exactly a year has passed since I finished my 'O' Levels. How time flies...... Haha, but I'm glad I've past that. In another year's time, it's 'A' Levels. Hmm, this 2 year period really seems darn ass, taking two major exams in the space of two years! Hehh!
Journaling is actually kinda fun. I know some would disagree, but yah, journal reflections about trainings really do help the mental part of our game. So yah... Although it can be tedious sometimes. So today's training was we.. and that's an understatement.. a huge one. We first had to do like 9 rounds in 20 minutes. I think I completed 10 rounds in 21 minutes, was super, super tired.. Managed to keep up till half-way before I lagged way behind like mad. The original pace was madnessssss, but yah, I need to push! And then, played the two halves again. Did not do anything except to shout, and just one mis-kick (again!). Yup. Then went to eat prata at Mr Prata across CCAB. Hehh I know, unhealthy to say the least! But I love it, so I won't deny myself.
Tomorrow sees another BBQ, for the previous iMedia President's birthday! Haha sure must go, food should be darn good. Haha... (: Then can catch up with my bungs! Yeapp... (:
So yeah, maybe have to go find something tomorrow too.
I can't look away.
Bye~!
my thoughts at 10:58 pm
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
So yah. I should always remind myself next time.. to never have high expectations...
For anything, absolutely anything.
I'm so glad I've proven to myself that I can control my emotions better now. No more jealousy, no point, like what I said in the previous post, jealousy just clouds your judgment and thinking; which isn't a good thing. So yeah.
Anyway today I slacked at home, recovering from all the madness of PW, like most of everyone else. But I had to go for training at 2+. So yah dragged myself there after the rain subsided. Today's training was awesome man... Especially the last part, took shots from coach, which was like quite close and super super hard. Oh man he is damn good. But yeah it was good training and I was certainly super tired.
Then went to Charmaine's house for a half-the-class BBQ at Bedok. The total traveling time there and back home was more than the time I stayed there. Aww mans sorry. But still, thanks Charmaine for organising! And I barely ate too. Haha... Still it was awesome.
And now tomorrow I can slack for the whole day, continuing with my recovery from PW, although there's two weeks of stinking lectures before the 5 week holiday starts before JC2 starts. Argh. Nuts man. It's like 2 years of JC.. STRAIGHT.
Nickelback - Never Gonna Be Alone
:'(
Nevertheless, I felt better in the end.But I still love my life as it is now.Only something epic will change it.
Bye~!
my thoughts at 11:44 pm
Yeah, that's a desktop that has just came out of the PW era.
Hmm yup. Moving away from PW, jealousy really clouds your judgment. When you are jealous or envious of something or someone, you can't really think right, and make the right decisions. I've experienced that just this year, so yah, I really must admit feeling jealous is just no use. Rather, just be happy and let things be as it is, and everything will be fine. (:
Bye~!
my thoughts at 10:25 am
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
PW has finally ended! I can't really believe that the whole process is over, after hearing all the torturous stories of WRs and OPs, I just can't believe it's all over now. Time seems to fly so, so fast. But I still love SA147. Haha...
So today I went to school later than usual, reached around 9. Then we had team time like an hour before we went to finalise and submit our GPF. So after we submitted the GPF we had more time to stone and mentally prepare ourselves. And I must say I kept my composure really well and nervousness down to a minimum. After registering with 4 ICs and ONE passport, we headed to C204 and got everything ready.
The other group and ours had a small little prayer led by Alysia and then a nice, albeit disorganized "S23" cheer. Haha to 'hype' everyone up. The examiners soon came after and we started first. I must say it was nerve-wrecking to sit on the chair and wait, but I still smiled and just did my part when my turn came. The skit was okay, considerin how little preparation we really did for it. I think I had a good performance today, and for the first time, I really enjoyed presenting, and overall the group did very well, especially Q&A! (: Like Mai said, this was our best performance amongst all the OP dry runs. Haha, we performed when it counted.
Then we waited for awhile before going back in to be the audience for SA148, and then after that we waited another while more before we could get our bags and left to eat Macs. Haha sinful stuff, but who cares? (:
And officially PW's over. No more EoMs, no more I&Rs, no more OP, no more WR! Haha, but I'm sad there'll be no more PW meetings and the fun we had. So I really want to thank Ayleen for hosting us five times for PW, Mai for two times at her hostel, and Mark for once. But we all really did our part and we did it well. So I hope we'll all get very good results come next year's release. (:
I still can't believe how badly I reacted to the group selection on the day we first knew our groups. And I certainly wouldn't change a thing if given a choice. Yup yup, we really did work well together.
Well the only bad news today was when I woke up to watch the Liverpool match. Ughh, yah yah the dive. Ugh.
But overall, a very enjoyable day.
Bye~!
my thoughts at 5:22 pm
Monday, November 09, 2009
All the best to all the S23ers for final OP tomorrow! After tomorrow, PW's no more!
Yeap as I said, SA147 will officially be no more tomorrow, but I hope it'll still exist unofficially. There have been many great times, great videos, and also the sian, irritating and annoying moments. But I guess it'll all be worth it, even if March delivers not so good results.
So yeah, it's just one more push tomorrow. Your five minutes. Our five minutes of group time. Q&A. And we're done. C'mon SA147. One more push. That's all.
And then we'll rock band/guitar hero at Mark's. Haha.
PW rocks... Yah right.
Bye~!
my thoughts at 11:14 pm
Sunday, November 08, 2009
PW at Ayleen's today was kinda fun. Well let's just say for one thing it was super noisy. At least for one we finished the mahjong paper and got the boards finally done. Now we have to concentrate on doing the skit right and doing our individual OPs right. Haiy... In about two days time, all this will be over. Don't know how I would feel though.
Tomorrow will be at Ayleen's again. Final preparation. Haha, and then I have training at 5pm at NIE! Ah. So, so so far awayy... I'll probably take an hour to reach home.
I always thought my 256MB fat thumbdrive was useless. Until PW came along, wow.. it was bloody useful, if not, a lot of things would have been delayed or there would have been a lot of problems. Haha so yeah, nothing's obsolete until you say so! (:
Hmm. What should I do after Tuesday's PW 'finale'? (Oh no, I'm beginning to... )
Bye~!
my thoughts at 11:30 pm
Friday, November 06, 2009
Actually to be honest, I don't really blame Rafa so much for this rot that Liverpool are in. It's really the owners fault, putting the club in so much debt. If they didn't have the financial muscle to buy and maintain the great ambitions of Liverpool, they shouldn't have bought Liverpool in the first place.
Ok to show Rafa's weaknesses. True, he has bought players like Josemi, Jan Kromkamp, Antonio Nunez (part of the Owen deal), Jermaine Pennant, Andrea Dossena, Sebastian Leto, Craig Bellamy, Robbie Keane, Fernando Morientes, Gabriel Paletta, Peter Crouch and Mark Gonzalez, for quite a lot of money. And all of them have flopped, not justifying their price tags, and just not good enough for Liverpool. But these are just a few, and look at Keane, he's still flourishing at old club Spurs, and Bellamy is doing well at Man City.
Then there are those like Mohammed Sissoko, Jack Hobbs, Scott Carson and Alvaro Arbeloa that has came in with relatively small fees, and left to other clubs as first team regulars for larger fees, giving Liverpool profits.
A lot of youngsters have been signed by Rafa. But doesn't Chelsea, Man Utd, and Arsenal do the same? With youngsters, you can never judge whether a 15- or 16-year old can make it, you take a risk and use their then-current potential to judge. All these can change with injuries and bad luck. But there are still the likes of Krisztian Nemeth, Dani Pacheco, Lauri Dalle Valle, Damien Plessis and Gerardo Bruna that can make it if they stay injury-less and has a bit of luck. Just look at Emiliano Insua, he was bought as a reserve team player for a small fee, and just look how good he is now, even at his young age. Most of Rafa's youngsters that have been sold was sold for a profit and they have been regulars at their respective teams now, albeit lower down in the divisions. Even David Ngog has looked decent, having a very very good scoring rate per games played.
Then now look at Rafa's success stories. Fernando Torres, Xabi Alonso, Javier Mascherano and Jose Reina. Formed much of the backbone last year, but sadly Alonso left. But what could Rafa do? The owners needed cash, so he had to sell. But look at Torres and his goals, Mascherano and his consistent performances, and wow.. Jose Reina, just magnificent.
Ok, the good players like Daniel Agger, Martin Skrtel, Albert Riera, Dirk Kuyt, Yossi Benayoun, Luis Garcia and Fabio Aurelio. They have all been decent players, and only Kuyt is a double figure million pound signing. Lucas is just starting out, so he needs time.
It's unfair to keep judging Rafa on his signings. He has his fair share of poor ones, but he still does sell them off for a profit, helping Liverpool financially. And those that has been a success are not mentioned often. Even the good players, on their off day, are heavily criticized as poor signings. But just look at the work rate of Kuyt, the creativity of Benayoun, the steel Skrtel brings, and the ball-playing style Agger has. All magnificent.
Now looking at the likes of Philipp Degen, Andriy Voronin and Sotiris Kyrgiakos. What do they have in common besides being absolutely rubbish? They cost less than a million, with the former two FREE transfers. What can you expect from free transfers? Nothing much, they are just there to fill up the numbers and hopefully make an impact.
You can't have a team of superstars, the only problem is Rafa's bench. But what can he do? He had to sell only, and how could he push on from last season if the twenty million pounds he was promised on top of the sales of stars like Alonso for another thirty million pounds was not delivered by the stupid American 'Yankee' owners?
Sir Alex Ferguson has also flopped with the likes of thirty million pound signing Juan Veron, David Bellion, Eric Djemba-Djemba and Kleberson a few years ago. Jose Mourinho also had his fair share of flops. Only when you sign twenty million pound valued players like Michael Essien, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Didier Drogba then you can have results.
Rafa doesn't have that financial muscles. So he has no choice but to look to seven to ten million pound players. And they don't always work out.
So its not really Rafa's fault. Yank those Americans out!
Bye.
my thoughts at 10:53 pm
Thursday, November 05, 2009
This picture is so fitting. Belts are just so like life. It's never just nice. It's always either too good, or too bad. So when we're on a high, it will never stay that way for long, and soon we'll be crashing back to earth, hard.
Anyway, I just realized that it could be true, that it was impossible. Now, I certainly can't vision it the way I wanted it, and I guess, it was the right choice, the right path to have taken. So in a way now on hindsight, I think it was okay in the end. Maybe I should be grateful, but I still wonder.. what if?
Well can't think about that now, it's all in the past. So yup, looking towards the future is great. Being less sensitive would be great too, and I am trying my best already.
Oh yeah today I really loved what Mai and Ken said. No wonder you guys are in my group. Haha, we think the same, just that I try not to voice it out. Haha... Sly...
Bye~!
my thoughts at 9:43 pm
Ahh... It's just so painful watching Liverpool this season. They started the season on a lost, and I thought it was like just.. a small blip. But now the loss of Xabi Alonso, and even to an extent Sami Hyypia is the reason why Liverpool's playing so bad. Sotrios Kyrgiakos is not as good a back up as the Big Finn, but Alonso's the most significant loss... When there's no Stevie G, there's no more spark deep in midfield anymore. Andriy Voronin still cannot finish. Alberto Aquilani needs time to get back from injury. And the reserve players like Jay Spearing, Stephen Darby and Nathan Ecclestone aren't good enough, yet.
And due to injuries to Stevie G, Glen Johnson and Fernando Torres they got from international duty. Stupid international managers have no clue whether their players are injured or not, and gamble, for what? When like England have back-ups like Michael Carrick or Gabby Agbonlahor for Stevie G, and there's like a wealth of attacking players Vicente Del Bosque can pick if Torres' injured. C'mon man.
The luck isn't there too. And it's hard if you can't put in a consistent team over a run of matches, due to all the injuries.
Now the Europa League looks like where Liverpool's heading... And I just feel like oh so.. sian. Unless either two happens...
Liverpool beat Debrecen and beat Fiorentina by three goals, if Fiorentina draws with Lyon. Liverpool beat Debrecen and Fiorentina by any amount of goals, if Fiorentina loses to Lyon.
IF just if, Fiorentina beats Lyon, bye bye Champions League for Liverpool.
Bye.
my thoughts at 5:26 pm
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Adam Lambert - Time For Miracles
Not too bad a song (:
Ok so today didn't really went down too well.
First off I had difficulty getting the whole group in school today for our second last OP dry run. In the end we presented with four people only. Well I did memorise my lines yesterday, but coupled by the fact that I had to stress myself out to get everyone to come to school, and that I had to rehearse someone else's part should they not come, for emergency. So I could use that as the reason I screwed up at my part. But in any case I was just off-colour and off-form today. The 10-min made up skit was also a disaster, but at least my Q&A was okay.
And then I have to deal with the mood swings and PMSes. Kinda sucks, just for one week, can you just stop?
Oh please.
Okay, maybe it really is time for miracles.
Bye.
my thoughts at 2:49 pm
Monday, November 02, 2009
Today was Chinese 'A' Levels. The focus wasn't that, something else rather.
It was weird, it happened, I think, 3 times, and all 3 times, I held my composure.
But not to the way I wanted it to be. I looked away, even after I knew of the presence. Have I really not want to try anymore? I'm not sure. The thing is, better stop now than to feel that awful feeling of even getting a sniff of a chance.
I'll prefer to bide my time, and to enjoy the pleasures of life. No point having to force myself into this. Yeap, I know most will say I'm coward and everything, but yah, I'm just not like the others.
Bye.
my thoughts at 10:04 pm
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Andriy Voronin. What the hell.
Rafa, you had THREE chances of subbing him off. You didn't. Why Fernando Torres? Why Yossi Benayoun? Why Dirk Kuyt? For Torres and Benayoun, they didn't even start mid-week against Arsenal, so why can't they play two matches in five days? Why no Martin Skrtel, why no Daniel Agger?
To put things to perspective, Martin Kelly, Albert Riera, Steven Gerrard and Alberto Aquilani to be a few were injured. Where was United-conqueror David N'Gog? Why not Andrea Dossena put on for a left-footer on the left flank? Where's Fabio Aurelio?
So many questions... Rafa really has lost it for this match. One more in midweek against Lyon and bye bye Rafa Benitez.
Anyway yesterday was another failure PW meeting. Only 3/5 turned up for the majority of the meeting. Did very little, only edited the slides and half-did one of the mahjong paper. Super slow progress.
Then the class Halloween costume party was almost derailed by super heavy rain. It really felt like Halloween. Thunder and stuff. The costumes some of them wore were really good. Ken was the devil, JJ was the ghost-turned-taliban, Charmaine was catwoman, Sherwin was the joker/heath ledger and man did he pull it off. Hilmi was spideyman, haha.. and the other highlight was Yuge, she was damn scary and damn real. Haha (:
The food was kinda good and the party was fine yeah... So glad I trusted you guys' judgment of going. Anyway yeah, if only everyone left later, including myself, hehh...
Anyway I just received a letter. It just pretty much helps me prove to myself that I can do it, even with 3-4 days of CCA in a week, A Div', weekly Div'3 matches for the last two months leading up.. which is all completely new to me. (:
Good luck to everyone taking Mother Tongue 'A' Levels tomorrow!