Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Am I really feeling a burn out? I think it's rather too early for that, ain't it... I really don't know what is happening to me. Without having hockey now, I don't seem to have that drive I had before. I'm getting more and more distracted, with the wrong things, and I'm veering somewhat off course. I used to have that motivation of having hockey and wanting to prove to myself that I can be a sportsman and at the same time get good academic grades.
Well I proved that last year already for Promos. Despite having to compete in Div'3 I still achieved my highest ever rank points total of 60. I felt good 'cos of it, having been able to finally prove myself. But then MSA1 came at the start of this year and everything has went downhill during season, academic-wise. Of course, I didn't manage to do as well whilst coping with the rigors and stresses of season.
Now with no more CCA and having so much time, I suddenly seem to have lost that drive, determination and motivation to go study. I want to, but I seem to have left something somewhere along the way. Maybe I feel drained from hockey. Maybe I haven't had a proper, good rest from season. I didn't really give myself a right deserving rest after season. So maybe that's what's affecting me? I don't know. I really don't.
I really need a one week totally-no-study week to just relax and chill. But that's NOT going to happen! There's just no time for R&R. One thing's for sure, I need to stop being so distracted and rediscover that drive to do well.
How to? I'm still thinking.
And to think I thought everything will be so fine after season, with the added time to study and stuff. Quite the contrary, really.
I need to talk about it to someone/people. I just need to let it out. Someway. Somehow. Someday. And I know it'll all be okay soon enough.
Bye...
my thoughts at 9:37 pm