Thursday, May 29, 2008
Nothing happened hereWTF?
So after three years of sitting back, not caring a lot, but still got care, I am getting back shit for this last year. Hmm..? So I'm given this %&#@ing position, yeah... granted, it's my highest, and even then, it's actually just a shoddy, "assisting" position. Ok, I don't mind, really. I EMBRACE this role I am given, like I always do. I've always done all the shit everyone gives me. I do the running if you want me to. I bring shit that you need, cause apparently, I'm always the free and not needed one around. Ok, granted I don't look busy, but no one gives me shit to do. Ok, sometimes I screw up, but don't you give the person a chance to learn, gain some frickin' experience? I just do what I'm asked to do, almost sounding like a %&#@ing dog, but I do it with a smile, a smirk at most. And I always make sure I do my best, and make sure its done.
I never mixed around before, always being scared of what would happen. You can't blame me for not going around socializing? I do my minimum tasks, I do it right, I try to do it well. Try. I try to give my all in all that I am given to do. So anything wrong? Of course EVERYTHING is wrong. Everybody's looking for that something extra. I don't give it, sad for me... I wasn't given anything extra, just doing stupid, trivial work.They say everyone's important. Bullshit. %&#@ing bullshit. I'm not, unfortunately. I'm just one small disposable piece in this huge puzzle, in which maybe, I'm just some string puppet. I'm even lower than some people who are supposedly inferior to me. It's okay, I don't mind that, it's just, show some respect, man...
Okay, so now you give me an extra role. I screw up the first time. SORRY! I'm handling it for the first damn %&#@ing time! The next time, I get the shit jobs, the useless jobs that any %&#@er can do really... Do they care? No... Bring out
chairs, how wonderful! I feel it's stupid, I'm off. Get someone else. Get someone else to handle the bullshit I am handling, anyway, it'd be good experience for him won't it? He'll do all the shit I did a couple of years ago... Granted, I didn't do anything to have any chance of being someone better. But I wasn't given the chance.
Then... when there was an empty vacancy, oh... I thought, there'd be no one else right? Well, contrary to MY belief, there was! And he pipped it ahead of me. Wow... Okay, I can't mind right? I mean I'm so trivial, how can I mind? So yeah... Now that I've gone back to my full-time role, the role I was suppose to be fulfilling at the start, I'm not being informed of most things. To be fair I've been inform of one event, but what about the other major ones? No one tells me nuts. Anyway, bullshit. My ideas, thoughts, whatever I have in me, its nothing. Its not important. Why? Well... because, I just haven't been contributing. Because I haven't been given the %&#@ing chance. Now even if you give me the chance, I'll %&#@ off... Why? 'Cause if I screw up, you'll be
wtf?-ing at me... I don't want that shit. Give me a break.
Nothing happened here.
my thoughts at 10:14 pm