Friday, May 23, 2008
I just realise somethings that I should have taken when I had the chance. Two weeks was all I had with one chance, and left it behind due to peer influences. I don't blame them, I blame my lack of will and to shut out those 'voices'. Now, it's not only in my head that I am feeling the pain, the regret, but I am also seeing it on paper, and now I struggle. What foolish and childish thinking I had then.
I need a time machine.
The signs were all there for me. I was kept receiving hints, or that's what I felt had happened, but I wasn't on the same wavelength, hadn't had much balls, and now, I'm regretting not doing anything. I can only do all these limited stuff and feel bad about it, but what's the use now? I can't do anything else. Only a miracle can save it. Why? I should have just done something... =( It's so wrong now...
It's just been a waste. Seeing others run pass me in this marathon is quite disheartening, but I slowed down on my own accord, not anyone others. I tried to slow others down too, luckily, they didn't, but I still feel bad in doing so... I'm just running a losing race. Whoever said Life Is A Marathon & Not A Race. Bullshit. I now know, take everything as it comes, don't leave anything for granted or luck. Nothing. Run life's race, don't take it as a marathon...
my thoughts at 10:52 pm